All parents want their children to become successful, but how do you define success?
Is it wealth and fame? Is it the ability to form meaningful relationships with others and make wise choices in life?
Most important, how do we help our children become happy, healthy adults?
Many of us learned early in life that true happiness goes beyond being “rich and famous.”
No doubt your child’s wellbeing and success is of paramount importance to you. Yet you alone cannot determine who your child will become. There are many forces beyond your control that shape your child’s development.
As your child matures, how can you retain his or her trust and exert a positive influence? What are the essential tools a child needs to succeed in life?
A successful child is one who is happy being himself, offers opinions, listens to others, is a friend and has friends, enjoys life and lives each moment in a manner that is fun, rewarding and meaningful to himself, his family and the community.
A successful parent is one who is secure and does not need to control the child. Instead, the parent helps the child learn boundaries, develop wisdom, become secure in his person and beliefs, and most of all, loves him unconditionally. Children need to be loved and have fair, consistent discipline and guidance.
Raising healthy, well-adjusted, respectful and ultimately successful children is hard work.
Effective parenting begins by modeling simple character-building principles. Raising children takes patience, skill and involvement. They do not need another friend; they need guidance, structure, and, yes, sometimes discipline.
Tools to help children become successful include:
1. Communication — Good communication is an important parenting skill. Parenting will be more enjoyable when a positive parent-child relationship is established. Building a successful family relies on being able to understand each other’s feelings, which isn’t always easy.
Good communication is the key to building self-esteem, as well as mutual respect. Let your child know that he or she is understood, and that his or her feelings and thoughts count. Keep an open line of communication. If you find talking with your child difficult, try writing notes or simply listening.
2. Discipline — Children cry out for discipline. Discipline is one of the most important activities that take place within a family, yet it is one of the most troublesome and least understood aspects of family life.
Many methods of discipline can estrange the parent and child a little bit at a time. However, effective discipline can actually reinforce the bond between parent and child, while at the same time reinforcing the child’s self-worth.
Discipline fairly. Be ready to follow through if you threaten to discipline. Otherwise, children quickly learn that there is no consequence for inappropriate actions.
3. Self-Esteem — Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.
Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. For example, a child or teen with high self-esteem will be able to:
• Act independently
• Assume responsibility
• Take pride in his/her accomplishments
• Tolerate frustration
• Attempt new tasks and challenges
• Handle positive and negative emotions
• Offer assistance to others
Parents, more than anyone else, can promote their child’s self-esteem. It isn’t a particularly difficult thing to do. If fact, most parents do it without even realizing that their words and actions have great impact on how their child feels about himself.
4. Empathy — The ability to identify with and feel for other people’s concerns is a cornerstone for determining right and wrong, preventing violence and creating caring, loving behavior.
Every day is an opportunity to teach your child the value of another person’s feelings. Help your children view the world with compassion. They need to approach situations with caring and concern and not just focus on themselves.
Without this all-important virtue, all the love in the world will not prevent your child from being swayed by peer pressure and the negative influences so prevalent today.
5. Unconditional Love -– Show and say “I Love You” every chance you get. The one common denominator of families that raise successful kids is their unconditional love for each other.
Any family can produce successful kids if guided by a loving, virtuous parenting philosophy. A smile, a loving touch, a kind word – these are the most important ingredients for raising happier, more successful children.
The primary source of success is environment, especially your home environment. Take the time to develop the skills of success in parenting. Confident, successful, responsible children will be your reward.
Tags: happiness, raising children, self-esteem, unconditional love